Some desire
29.6.09 21:26
I had been caught in the rain for the past few rainy days either when it's just starting to pour or after it. Count myself lucky for not getting totally soaked, but I do like the feeling when being pelted by the droplets then. It might be my poor timing with the weather, but I would say it's all my own doings. I know in my mind that I just wanted to be drenched by the summer rainfall. It's always summer in Singapore, I know.
No matter how heavy it might have become, I didn't run. Instead, my feet had gotten heavier when the first of rain came upon my shoulders. My breathing calmed with the strolling of the gloomy clouds.
You might see me jumping in the rain by myself soon. Even so you might not 'cause we know that rainwater's dirty and I could catch a chill.
Who knows.
No matter how heavy it might have become, I didn't run. Instead, my feet had gotten heavier when the first of rain came upon my shoulders. My breathing calmed with the strolling of the gloomy clouds.
You might see me jumping in the rain by myself soon. Even so you might not 'cause we know that rainwater's dirty and I could catch a chill.
Who knows.
Apathy
28.6.09 20:40
Is the opposite of love, hate isn't.
Albeit the nice, white surround of this post, I actually have a jolly dark personality. "jolly" might not appease your ears, neither would "dark" nor the combination. This part of me isn't a persona that significantly shows in any of my emotional states. It is a part of me.
When a friend asked about the private message under my messenger nickname, which is the quote above, I had already anticipated some to follow suit. My predictions came true and there was something that would follow too - rumours. I do not dislike them, who carry on with their baseless assumptions. Needless to say for those who believed blindly and deemed me their way.
There is no need for anyone to speak up nor for my repeating these words again.
Some people are afraid of the dark, afraid of what they cannot see.
" You're here to get things done, not show off that you can do it. "
Albeit the nice, white surround of this post, I actually have a jolly dark personality. "jolly" might not appease your ears, neither would "dark" nor the combination. This part of me isn't a persona that significantly shows in any of my emotional states. It is a part of me.
When a friend asked about the private message under my messenger nickname, which is the quote above, I had already anticipated some to follow suit. My predictions came true and there was something that would follow too - rumours. I do not dislike them, who carry on with their baseless assumptions. Needless to say for those who believed blindly and deemed me their way.
There is no need for anyone to speak up nor for my repeating these words again.
Some people are afraid of the dark, afraid of what they cannot see.
Phone lost, again
21.6.09 00:53
Before my actual post, the video above was, though a tad gory, an interesting find!
"We have money!"Along the way back to Singapore from KL, I was quenched with thoughts straightened out in the bus. I couldn't help but kept my head leaned to the window-side to just gaze at the clouds. Occasionally, the lazy white cotton almost lulled me to sleep but my mind didn't allow for it.
After getting into polytechnic, I've had my many firsts. Yes, going on a total leisure oversea trip with friends was a first for me. Although I'd a slight headache during the travels, I did try to keep my whimsical nonsense at bay. I just don't make much sense when my head's in a whirl.
I'd felt bad losing my phone again in an oversea trip. This just showed how negligent I am with my personal belongings and I didn't want it to happen once more. Now, I've got this W910i, which was a previous model of mine, as a gift from my Mom. She sure knows how careless his son is! Seeing how much of an ass I am to my previous phones, I promised to take good care of my current one.
I will handle it with care by placing it gently on any surface instead of hurling it on any cushion I can find.
I will wipe my hands dry before laying a finger on the phone.
I will hold it firmly instead of finger-juggling it when I've nothing better to do. ....
Labels: video(s)
As quoted
16.6.09 21:38
"If you think everyone or, say the least, the people around you never experienced a bit of the strangling sorrow which seems so much as to remove the air from your lungs/heart, think again. People just don't tell you."
~ a friend I cherished much.
Getting out
17:11
The next day to Malaysia until this Friday.
I had been anticipating this trip for long and was packing my luggage with much glee like when I were preparing for my NCC camps back in the good 'ol days. I sat on the sofa and materialized a mental checklist of things to bring - childhood habits die hard. I just have to throw in my toiletries the next morning!
Talking about childhood habits, I'm wary of a few of my prevailing ones. One of the more prominent one is that I tilt my head slightly to the right just after a friend and I had noticed each other before exchanging greetings. That's probably me figuring out who the person is. HAH!
Then, there were occasions getting caught holding drinks or some munch with two hands just like children would due to their small hands. How about yours?
While pondering on the question, mind giving the video below a chance to play.
Hypochondriac Blues - Max Vernon
Here I am again, drowning in the sheets of my sweat-stained bed,
I throw the covers over my head, but when the light breaks through,
My body builds up the dread and,
Two hours later i work starin' a hole in the wall
I can see, i can smell, you may think that I'm well,
But somethin' isn't right at all,
Cause i can taste the bitter acid washin' in my throat,
And i can feel the brittle marrow crackin' in my bones,
And this headache means I probably gotta tumor in my head
And this mark on my back is practically blood red
It could be cancer of the spine, but my doctor says I'm fine
Say what you want, I can't help the feelin' that I'm
Dyin' I've got the sanity
Of rose-a-mary kennedy before lobotomy,
And i'm the greatest threat to my own health,
But how can you blame me,
I wonder why i don't see more people goin' crazy
Readin about the news everyday,
Getting sick of feelin' limp and useless
Oh, tell me what the use is, the tortured soul i can save,
Cause if you leave me alone with my mind, you're gonna dig my grave.
Listen up my only friend,
If the sun should burn out, the world just ends,
Well we'd be dead, we wouldn't be scared,
You can't have fear if you don't have time to reflect and,
The minutes you waste
Takin' up space instead of really bein' alive,
Would be better put to use tryin' to make a friend or two
Cause they will give you the courage to get through life,
And it won`t be too long now before you're gone,
And someone takes your place to carry the world on their arms.
Well that doesn't sound nice,
I should take my own advice and
Leave all my fear and hate behind,
But paranoia rules my brain while the shrink says I'm sane,
Well go ahead and diagnose whatever you want, but you're
Lyin', I've got the sanity
Of rose-a-mary kennedy before lobotomy,
And I'm the greatest threat to my own health,
But how can you blame me,
I wonder why I don't see more people goin' crazy
Readin about the news everyday,
Getting sick of feelin' limp and useless
Oh, tell me what the use is, the tortured soul I can save,
Cause if you leave me alone with my mind, you're gonna dig my grave
I had been anticipating this trip for long and was packing my luggage with much glee like when I were preparing for my NCC camps back in the good 'ol days. I sat on the sofa and materialized a mental checklist of things to bring - childhood habits die hard. I just have to throw in my toiletries the next morning!
Talking about childhood habits, I'm wary of a few of my prevailing ones. One of the more prominent one is that I tilt my head slightly to the right just after a friend and I had noticed each other before exchanging greetings. That's probably me figuring out who the person is. HAH!
Then, there were occasions getting caught holding drinks or some munch with two hands just like children would due to their small hands. How about yours?
While pondering on the question, mind giving the video below a chance to play.
Hypochondriac Blues - Max Vernon
Here I am again, drowning in the sheets of my sweat-stained bed,
I throw the covers over my head, but when the light breaks through,
My body builds up the dread and,
Two hours later i work starin' a hole in the wall
I can see, i can smell, you may think that I'm well,
But somethin' isn't right at all,
Cause i can taste the bitter acid washin' in my throat,
And i can feel the brittle marrow crackin' in my bones,
And this headache means I probably gotta tumor in my head
And this mark on my back is practically blood red
It could be cancer of the spine, but my doctor says I'm fine
Say what you want, I can't help the feelin' that I'm
Dyin' I've got the sanity
Of rose-a-mary kennedy before lobotomy,
And i'm the greatest threat to my own health,
But how can you blame me,
I wonder why i don't see more people goin' crazy
Readin about the news everyday,
Getting sick of feelin' limp and useless
Oh, tell me what the use is, the tortured soul i can save,
Cause if you leave me alone with my mind, you're gonna dig my grave.
Listen up my only friend,
If the sun should burn out, the world just ends,
Well we'd be dead, we wouldn't be scared,
You can't have fear if you don't have time to reflect and,
The minutes you waste
Takin' up space instead of really bein' alive,
Would be better put to use tryin' to make a friend or two
Cause they will give you the courage to get through life,
And it won`t be too long now before you're gone,
And someone takes your place to carry the world on their arms.
Well that doesn't sound nice,
I should take my own advice and
Leave all my fear and hate behind,
But paranoia rules my brain while the shrink says I'm sane,
Well go ahead and diagnose whatever you want, but you're
Lyin', I've got the sanity
Of rose-a-mary kennedy before lobotomy,
And I'm the greatest threat to my own health,
But how can you blame me,
I wonder why I don't see more people goin' crazy
Readin about the news everyday,
Getting sick of feelin' limp and useless
Oh, tell me what the use is, the tortured soul I can save,
Cause if you leave me alone with my mind, you're gonna dig my grave
Labels: music video(s)
I'm Movin On - Rascal Flatts
14.6.09 13:40
I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself
I have been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long
I'm movin' on
I've lived in this place and I know all the faces
Each one is different but they're always the same
They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it
They'll never allow me to change
But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong
I'm movin' on
I'm movin' on
At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me
And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone
There comes a time in everyone's life
When all you can see are the years passing by
And I have made up my mind that those days aren't gone
I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town
I've loved like I should but lived like I shouldn't
I had to lose everything to find out
Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road
I'm movin' on
I'm movin' on
I'm movin' on
Finally content with a past I regret
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself
I have been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long
I'm movin' on
I've lived in this place and I know all the faces
Each one is different but they're always the same
They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it
They'll never allow me to change
But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong
I'm movin' on
I'm movin' on
At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me
And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone
There comes a time in everyone's life
When all you can see are the years passing by
And I have made up my mind that those days aren't gone
I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town
I've loved like I should but lived like I shouldn't
I had to lose everything to find out
Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road
I'm movin' on
I'm movin' on
I'm movin' on
Labels: music video(s)
Smooth-sailing Saturday
13.6.09 20:52
Firdaus gave me a ride to Lot 1 in the morning since it was on his way. There was a different feel about being in a car with my friend as the driver compared to having someone senior (for example parents). It was my first time in a friend's car and it was such a smooth ride I did not realize that Lot 1 was just a traffic light away. Firdaus has got TEH SkillZ, man!
I could get him to drive a group of us to makan haunts despite probably paying for the fuel too 'cause that's only fair.
Throughout our badminton games for the day, both Maurice and I had trouble getting the shuttlecock to each other's side of the court . ... and I'd lost 2 sets out of 3. We'll play better the next time! I can really get used to involving in sports every Saturday morning with Maurice since we had our fair share of notoriety back in Unity. HAH. If anyone's interested to join us, feel free to contact any of us. Even if you have no idea who Maurice is, you're still welcomed to make friends.
Alright, I admit it's a plot! We need accomplices to help us deter the passers-by who (carry badminton rackets and) could excuse us of our court. We need you, please. There's really nothing to lose. You just have to be present (to prove that you're one of us) and bring along your sports attire, change of clothes/slippers, a water bottle and (tennis and/or badminton) racketsand a registration fee of ... . It would be better if you could sponsor the shuttlecocks 'cause we'd be sponsoring the tennis balls. If our gang group increases in strength, we could even play team sports! Imagine how fun would that be.
It's not like I'm going to kneel and kowtow to you, but do fall in with us anyway.
I could get him to drive a group of us to makan haunts despite probably paying for the fuel too 'cause that's only fair.
Throughout our badminton games for the day, both Maurice and I had trouble getting the shuttlecock to each other's side of the court . ... and I'd lost 2 sets out of 3. We'll play better the next time! I can really get used to involving in sports every Saturday morning with Maurice since we had our fair share of notoriety back in Unity. HAH. If anyone's interested to join us, feel free to contact any of us. Even if you have no idea who Maurice is, you're still welcomed to make friends.
Alright, I admit it's a plot! We need accomplices to help us deter the passers-by who (carry badminton rackets and) could excuse us of our court. We need you, please. There's really nothing to lose. You just have to be present (to prove that you're one of us) and bring along your sports attire, change of clothes/slippers, a water bottle and (tennis and/or badminton) rackets
It's not like I'm going to kneel and kowtow to you, but do fall in with us anyway.
Ease of contentment
12.6.09 17:14
To celebrate my passing of BTT, I made myself two sandwiches!
One might wonder why I'm even satisfied with passing BTT 'cause it's no biggie, right? It might not mean anything to you, but it means ONE STEP CLOSER for me to attaining a motorcycle licence. If you need a recap, get to the title "The drive to drive" over here.
I'd still clench my fists in the air and beam you my most confident eyes albeit receiving bewildered stares. That was what happened the night before at Yew Tee Mcdonald's where I whiled my time pleasantly with Patrick, Seok Hwee, Jing Ni, Lopez and Maurice. Hidayat and Ridhwan joined us irregularly as they were burning midnight oil for their tests today.
It's a wonder how that small outing refueled my mind.
Meanwhile, I'm awaiting the dinner with my brothers who'd POP-ed.
One might wonder why I'm even satisfied with passing BTT 'cause it's no biggie, right? It might not mean anything to you, but it means ONE STEP CLOSER for me to attaining a motorcycle licence. If you need a recap, get to the title "The drive to drive" over here.
I'd still clench my fists in the air and beam you my most confident eyes albeit receiving bewildered stares. That was what happened the night before at Yew Tee Mcdonald's where I whiled my time pleasantly with Patrick, Seok Hwee, Jing Ni, Lopez and Maurice. Hidayat and Ridhwan joined us irregularly as they were burning midnight oil for their tests today.
It's a wonder how that small outing refueled my mind.
Meanwhile, I'm awaiting the dinner with my brothers who'd POP-ed.
The beginning is a stalker
2.6.09 18:51
It's just 3 more days to go till I cross that red tape to holidays!
"Red tape" can mean a procedure which is needless and time-consuming, but that's not what I meant. It's just the kind of red tape you see in competitive sprints, runs, ... You get what I mean - a simple analogy. After I finish this race, there's another beginning waiting for me out there. The beginning stalks me like an entity and, at the same time, serving the purpose of my being.
I could see myself thwacked with rotten language and foul eggs if I do present that quote to particular friends who know I love wordplay. Nevertheless, that was how this blog came into being (after some liquor other than gin).
To come into existence, one needs an oriGIN (HAH THERE) !
Take me for an example, but I didn't come after gin/alcohol. I am still glad to be involved in this world with my hardheaded parents. My parents are my origin. I oriGINated from them. Pardon me for my lack of ingenuity, please. Oops, did you just read "gin"?
On an ending note, I'd created this blog to end my complexity of thoughts and any misunderstandings that caused harm to the people I cherished the most. I'm only human.
"Red tape" can mean a procedure which is needless and time-consuming, but that's not what I meant. It's just the kind of red tape you see in competitive sprints, runs, ... You get what I mean - a simple analogy. After I finish this race, there's another beginning waiting for me out there. The beginning stalks me like an entity and, at the same time, serving the purpose of my being.
"From being to beginning, you need some gin in between."
I could see myself thwacked with rotten language and foul eggs if I do present that quote to particular friends who know I love wordplay. Nevertheless, that was how this blog came into being (after some liquor other than gin).
To come into existence, one needs an oriGIN (HAH THERE) !
Take me for an example, but I didn't come after gin/alcohol. I am still glad to be involved in this world with my hardheaded parents. My parents are my origin. I oriGINated from them. Pardon me for my lack of ingenuity, please. Oops, did you just read "gin"?
On an ending note, I'd created this blog to end my complexity of thoughts and any misunderstandings that caused harm to the people I cherished the most. I'm only human.